Friday, May 9, 2008

Motherhood...The Lighter Side





♥A woman invited some people for dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the little girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say" the mother said. The girl bowed her head and said, "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"



♥A mother was listening to her child say his prayers "Dear Harold." At this the mom interrupted and said wait a minute, how come you called God, Harold?" The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church." You know the prayer we say, "Our Father who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name."



♥One day a space shuttle crashed to the ground in the yard of a preschool. When he finally struggled from the wreckage, the astronaut shouted, "I'm free!! I'm free!!" At this point one of the children that was standing there shouted back, "Big deal, I'm four!"



♥A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone here know what we mean by sins of omission?" A little girl replied: "Aren't those the sins that we were supposed to commit but didn't?"



♥A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home he was looking at the things she had purchased. He found a package of pantyhose and began to sound out the words "QUEEN SIZE." He then looked at his grandmother and exclaimed, "Look Grandma, you wear the same size as our waterbed!"



♥"The "Joy Of Motherhood": What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.



♥The only people who are always right about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

♥THINGS ONLY A MOM CAN TEACH!♥


Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:"Just wait until your father gets home."


My Mother taught me about RECEIVING:."You are going to get it when we get home!"


My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE:"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"


My Mother taught me LOGIC:"Because I said so, that's why."&"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My Mother taught me HUMOR:"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me about GENETICS:"You're just like your father."

My mother taught me RELIGION:"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me IRONY:"Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about STAMINA:"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: Don't Exaggerate!!!"


Hmmm, have you ever heard one of those lines?



10 comments:

e-Mom said...

What a great way to start my Friday! BIG smiles!!!

Hey, you could almost reword this one to say...

He found a package of pantyhose and began to sound out the words "QUEEN SIZE." He then looked at his grandmother and exclaimed, "Look Grandma, panyhose fit for a queen like you!"

Have a queen-sized mother's day, Susan. :~D

(((Hugs)))

Lelia Chealey said...

Oh gosh, I sound like IRONY! :)
Lots of love to you this Sunday my dear friend.
I was thinking of you this morning when I was bathing little Amiyah. She is just growing & I can't wait for her little bottome to fit into those panties you sent. So sweet.
I love you and can't wait to meet you in real life!!! :) I thank God that He brought us together via blogging!
Love,
Lelia

Tonya said...

Oh, Susan.. I LOVE IT! These are SO CUTE!!!!!!!! Now, I've MISSED visiting you this past week and am TERRIBLY sorry that I missed commenting on the sweet words you shared in your post. You brought me to TEARS for sure! I've been SO BLESSED to have a friend like YOU in my life!

SO... if something happens that I don't get online again before Sunday... I wish you a VERY HAPPY Mother's Day!!!!!!!! You're the GREATEST! =-)

Maxine said...

I enjoyed these so much and needed the chuckles. Thanks for sharing them! I've heard a good many of them. I never thought about the fact that my pantyhose and bedsheets were the same size. That is too funny!
Have a blessed Mother's Day!

Sheryl said...

Thank you for your words on my blog! I've just read your last two posts. The first made me cry and I went and visited your friends. What amazing women.

Then I was glad to read the last post and get a laugh. I needed it. You are a blessing to so many, myself included.

Happy Mother's Day Susan.

Sheryl

Cheryl said...

I have heard those words and I have repeated them!! Thanks for a great way to start the day. Happy Mother' Day!

luvmy4sons said...

Thanks for the chuckle. Happy Mother's Day!

Heather@Mommymonk said...

Susan - what a great collection of favorite lines! I especially like the lawnmower one.

KELLY said...

What a great post!

My cup runneth over... said...

These were great! Thanks for the laughs.

Hope you have an especially wonderful Mother's Day!

Blessings,
Tracy = )