Would you like to be made whole?

“Afterward Jesus returned to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish holy days. Inside the city, near the Sheep Gate, was the pool of Bethesda, with five covered porches. Crowds of sick people—blind, lame, or paralyzed—lay on the porches. One of the men lying there had been sick for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, “Would you like to be made whole?” (John 5: 1-6)

I don't believe there is a person alive who at some point in their life has not lost their spiritual sight, their hope, or have in some way been paralyzed by the effects of sin. I know all those words could have described me several years ago as a young mother of four, who had recently lost her mother after a long battle with emphysema. My husband and I had just begun the work of pioneering a new church after resigning from a prestigious job on the East Coast and moving back to Louisiana. We were ready to lay down our lives for the sake of the call. However, in the natural, the timing could not have been worse, or so it seemed at the time.

We had prayed, fasted, stood on the word, and just knew somehow my mom was going to be healed. We felt God would reward our obedience as we “left all” and came back home, having counted the cost and never once looking back. Our plans for the future seemed so bright, so full of faith, and brimming over with hope. We knew God was up to something great.

"Throughout the history of God's people as given to us in the Bible, we see that life is a test. We have before us the option to trust God "no matter what," or to walk away from Him. To walk away from God is to leave the fragments of our dreams in pieces on the floor, but to trust Him is to let God pick up the pieces and make us whole again. When we choose to let Him make us whole again, he will make our lives more beautiful than before." What I Learned from God While Quilting by Ruth McHaney Danner & Cristine Bolley



Back to the story in Bethesda , “I can’t, sir,” the sick man said to Jesus....” (John 5:7)

When it seemed my whole world came crashing down, I said those very same words to God, “I can't”. I felt like I could not go on without my mother. I can't be a pastor's wife and meet the needs and demands of a young and growing church. I can't meet all the needs of four young children under the age of seven. I can’t fulfill the expectations that seemed to face me at every turn. I had such valid reasons why I could not go on. Surely God would not, could not, should not, expect me to press on and be an instrument of healing and hope to others when I needed

so much to be healed myself.

Pool of BETHES'DA (house of Grace)

It was then, like the man at the pool of Bethesda, that I was beckoned to experience Jesus in a brand new way when He asked me, “Susan, would you like to be made whole?” I will never forget those piercing words. I had read them many times before, but this time, it was as if God spoke them audibly to me. They seemed to jump right off the page. How many more excuses could I give? How much further away could I run? Where could I hide from His presence? All of my "feeling sorry for myself" didn’t carry any weight with God. All I could do was respond, “Yes Lord, I want to be healed!”

Thank you Nina for this awesome quote to think about today. Yes, life is a test, and not just one. It is a series of events that we get to say, “YES”, to God over and over again. I wish I could say I have yielded to the Spirit every time I was faced with trials in my life. If that were the case the rest of the story would be grand.

The truth is that I've lost several other loved ones along the way. I've been betrayed and let down. I've grieved over a decision to lay down our ministry, which meant the world to me. I’ve struggled through a season of raising my teenage sons who desperately needed so much of my attention and direction. Loss after loss, test upon test, and yet, I have found in the end that God has been there, right along side of me, the whole way. Faithfully guiding as He poured in the Balm of Gilead to heal my wounded heart.

I have learned that we can't get stuck or set up camp at any one place in our walk with the Lord. He is always calling us to be ready to move when He moves, come up higher, and go further than we have ever ventured before! In the book of Ecclesiastes King Solomon describes the many seasons of our lives. We will at some point experience all of them. But most of all, I love the promise at the end of this passage when the Bible says:

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecc. 3:11

Yes, all things do work together for good in our lives. Yet it is true that we can’t always see the end from where we stand at the moment. However, if we are willing, God is just a prayer away to help pick up those broken pieces of our lives and make us whole again. I am still learning; I am still growing; and my hope is that I will always be ready to say, “Yes”, when the voice of God says to me, “do you want to be made whole?"

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