Friday, December 19, 2008

A Special Announcement...

Come join me today over at the Internet Cafe, I have some great news for you!


And I could not pass up joining in on Friday Funnies. Still looking for that perfect gift for a man in your life? Here's some great suggestions:


Shopping Rules for Men's Gifts

Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. "By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #6: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.

Rule #7: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink. You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over. (now my husband LOVES directions!)

Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")

Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule #11: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #12: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #13: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.

Hope this was helpful ladies! Join us today over at The Homesteaders Heart for so more laughter.

18 comments:

Debra said...

Oh my goodness Susan...this is too funny! And it's too true! I can remember one year my hubby wanting another drill and my asking the silly question "Don't you already have a drill?"

Happy Friday sweet friend!

luvmy4sons said...

I barely made it past the first one...because it is so weirdly and bizarrely the truth...take it from one who lives with five men! What am I saying...you KNOW! Blessings to you today.

LAURIE said...

Those were good! Now I am headed over to read Internet Cafe....

Laurie Ann said...

These are so funny and I could totally see my Dad and Steve in these jokes! LOL! P. S. I am wearing Happy Heart today! Bless you!

Speaking from the Heart said...

ROTFL. I believe my husband gave me this list last week.

Marsha said...

Oh Susan! These were "his"terical!!! Thanks for sharing. Now I'm headin' over to the Cafe!

Alicia said...

What if my hubby already has all that???

LOL

Peggy said...

Very funny. Thanks for the laugh.

SophieMae said...

Oh, those are sooooo funny! And true! Duller (dh) is about as handy as a rock, but he loves his cordless drills. No one knows why. 8-}

Have a JESUS-filled day! ^i^

Denise said...

That list is perfect!!!!!! You could close your eyes and pick one and he would smile on Christmas...My son is single and 38 and each year I have a big stocking for him ( I know, but I am his mother) anyway..for years it was candy and stuff and cologne and such.... for many years now it is tools! AND lots of tools ! Hammers and wrenches and screwdrivers and etc etc etc... I am always amazed at the smile on his face as he digs them out one by one........GO FIGURE!!!!!!!!! It is the testosterone!

He And Me + 3 said...

Those were very true...so why do I insist on getting him socks.

elizabeth embracing life said...

You should have put a pee before you read warning up. I am just busting up over here. What a great list.

e-Mom said...

Susan, this was a hoot!!! I chuckled all the way to the bottom, and then promptly sent off copies to all my family members. (No one knows why.)

Thanks for the GREAT laugh. (((Hugs)))

Lady Lynn's Boutique said...

Great post and just in time!
Love the information!
Lynn

Maxine said...

I loved this! Too too funny! And too too true indeed! And no one knows why! That's hysterical! I have a man who fits it too a tee!!!

Faithful Froggers said...

Oh, Susan, it has been so good to come here and catch up with you. I took a break from the computer and blogs for a while and have missed you.

Thanks so much sharing the pictures of your winter wonderland in Louisiana! I thought of you when I watched the news. Of course, all that snow looks like fun to my guys. :)

I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year.

Pia said...

Wishing you all the best this Christmas and a blessed New Year!

God bless you and your family! ♥

Smelling Coffee said...

What a great list! This was too funny - just wish I had read it before Christmas! (I'm just now catching up on blogging.) I'll remember this for Valentines Day. :-)